Songs about death and loss

On May 21, 2006 at 6:30 p.m. I lost my brother. He wasn’t supposed to die before me I am more than 14 years older than him. People who you can remember clearly before they were born and being almost too nervous to hold them for the first time they are suppose to go after you but that wasn’t the case here. From his boyish appearance to his warm smile Kevin was the peacemaker especially when it came to dealing with our dad.

With my dad and I both being strong minded opinionated Leos, Kevin had a way of being that bridge that would encourage us to make amends and not let things keep us apart for too long. He was kind, friendly, and too many times too wanting of people to like him to the point that he would get used. More than anything he was only 22 and hadn’t tasted what life was or could offer. Nobody is perfect and Kevin had his ups and downs and challenges but more than anything I took for granted time. Time that I thought we would have because certaintly at age 36 and he being only 22 i didn’t think that time would stop for us but it did and not with expectation. I talked to Kevin on a Tuesday afternoon with the last words i’d ever hear from him being I love you too and by Sunday night he was gone, no more I love you’s, no more let’s get together, and no more crazy late night calls just the only reminder of his voice was calling his cell phone until that too was gone forever.

People tell you that with time you can go on and each day gets better but there are times it’s as if it was yesterday that he died. There are moments without any reason i completely breakdown and have a good cry, the grief is too raw and thinking about him for too long just reminds me that i have to live in a world that he doens’t exist in. I will always think of the baby I rocked to Madonna’s ‘Material Girl’ or the little boy who sat at a Michael Jackson concert at the age of 4 and was scared of the fireworks but got excited when he saw the performance of the song ‘BAD’ or the young man he was respectful to all adults, who wanted us to go on a roadtrip to California that we never got around to.

Finally, I will miss those last plans we made to spend Father’s Day of 2006 doing something with our dad and him comforting me in my grief when in March of that same year i’d just lost my stepdad. Kevin used to make me laugh, he used to do things to irritate me in a sibling way, and most of all he used to make me feel like sometimes that he needed to be protected. In the end though all I had left was seeing him after he’d past away and being the wonderful selfless man he’d been in life, he was a organ donar having helped eight families. God bless them, I still miss my little brother.

One of his favorite artists was Mariah Carey, her song 'One Sweet Day' sums up best how deep the lost is and another song that i listened to for quite some time after his passing was T.I.'s 'Live In The Sky' I hope both songs move you as they did me. Warning: T.I.'s song has explicit cursing.